


family group text

by Humanities_Handbag



Category: Hotel Transylvania (Movies)
Genre: Dracula still hasn't mastered texting, Drunk Texting, F/M, go easy on him, lots of fun texting times, self indulgent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 07:32:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15383778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Humanities_Handbag/pseuds/Humanities_Handbag
Summary: ericka is thrilled to be added to the family group textmavis finds that ericka might be kind of sort of cooljohnny rolls with the tidedracula hasn't figured out this texting thing yet, but he sure does love ericka a lot





	family group text

**Author's Note:**

> complete self indulgent fic. not my best. not my worst. but certainly my most random. 
> 
> enjoy.

When Ericka’s phone  _dings_ sometime while she’s chatting to the Hydra about their lovely scales (”thank you so much, Captain, we do our very best”) she checks her phone, nearly bursts into unwanted tears, and excuses herself to lean on one of the lobby’s couches. 

 **Mavis:** Hey, Ericka! Adding you to our family group chat! Let me know if you get this!

She’d never been a part of anything. The mundanity of a family group chat was so… boring in concept.

She swiped at teary eyes. 

Ericka was about to respond with some sort of long-winded, heartfelt thank you until three dots on the bottom appeared. 

 **Dracula:** MAVIS WHY ARE YOU TEXTING ME

 **Mavis:** We’re adding Ericka to the group chat, dad

 **Johnny:**  Sweeeeet 

 **Dracula:**  MAVY WAVY THAT’S A GREAT IDEA DID YOU TELL HER YET

 **Mavis:**  This is a GROUP CHAT dad. She’s on, now.

 **Dracula:**  ERICKA YOU’RE A PART OF OUR GROUP CHAT NOW

 **Mavis:** Dad, she knows

 **Dracula:**  ERICKA. YOU JUST HAVE TO TYPE AND SEND IT AND EVERYONE SEES IT

 **Mavis:**  She knows how to use group chat, dad

 **Dracula:** TYPE INTO THE BOX AND THEN PRESS SEND

 **Ericka:** I know, honey. 

 **Dracula:** THE SEND BUTTON IS THE BLUE ONE THAT SAYS SEND

 **Ericka:**  I know, honey, thank you.

 **Dracula:**  SHE FIGURED IT OUT MAVIS

 **Johnny:** dude, you can talk to the people there, you know?

 **Ericka:**  I’m here, hon. You can talk to me. 

 **Dracula:** MAVIS WHY AREN’T YOU ANSWERING ME ERICKA FIGURED IT OUT

 **Mavis:** We all know, dad. 

She must have looked all colors of. crazy from the way she was chuckling down at her phone. She looked up. A few monsters gave her a look or two but none of them did much else. Ericka shrugged off the feeling of the awkward spotlight and looked back down at her screen. 

Her boyfriend (was that what he was? the term was almost strange and highschool-ish, but still managed to send little sparks down her spine) was savvy in the ways of most things having to do with hotel management. 

Tech intelligent, he was not. 

She typed back “Thanks for adding me” and waited. 

Three dots appeared at the bottom of the screen. 

 **Dracula:**  ERICKA MAKE SURE YOU DON’T SEND ANYTHING YOU DON’T WANT THEM TO SEE ON HERE THIS IS PUBLIC. 

 **Ericka:**  I know, honey. 

 **Mavis:** she knows, dad -_-. And you don’t need to keep using caps lock. 

 **Dracula:**  WHAT’S CAPS LOCK

A minute passed. She watched the dots appear, disappear, and then appear again. 

 **Dracula:**  HEY HONEY ARE YOU FREE TONIGHT I WAS THINKING YOU COULD TRY ON THAT NEW LINGERIE WE PICKED OUT

 **Mavis:**  Group chat, dad! Group! Chat!

 **Johnny:**  lol

 **Dracula:** ERICKA THIS WAS A GROUP CHAT I ACCIDENTALLY TYPED INTO DON’T DO THE SAME THING I DID

 **Dracula:** I THINK I FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT DO YOU WANT TO TRY ON THE LINGERIE TONIGHT

 **Ericka:**  Still group chat, honey.

 **Mavis:**  DAD.

Ericka pockets her phone, doing her best to swallow back the outrageous cocktail of embarrassment and laughter. She made a note to try and teach the King of Darkness how to navigate his phone later. 

Maybe after that night. When she tried on the new lingerie. 

* * *

Mavis had grown accustomed, day by day (and sometimes hour by hour) with the presence of her fathers new significant other. And had made an effort to at least try and include the woman. 

And when she had, when the gates were opened, and when the invitations were extended, she found that Ericka… was actually pretty cool. 

She was actually  _really_  cool. 

The woman had been to nearly every continent, save Australia, and had navigated the seas for twenty-seven long years. “I started when I was fifteen,” she told the young Vampiress, who was going through the hotel menus for the week while Ericka sat beside her, stapling invoices to accounts. “My grandfather had me training before then, but we didn’t have the boat until I turned fourteen. So-”

“And you learned on your own?”

Ericka shrugged, slapping down the lid of the stapler with a  _thud_. “I did a lot of things alone. The only thing he really helped me with was…” she squirmed, choosing her words carefully, “ _monster_ stuff. You know…”

“Oh,” said Mavis. The topic was rarely breached, though Ericka suspected it wouldn’t be long until the vampiress started asking questions. 

“But other than that…”

Mavis shook her head, shaking the memory of krakens and wooden stakes off her mind. “So what? You only learned on a cruise ship?”

“Oh, no. I learned on all sorts. Sailing, small schooners, rowboats, catamaran, fishing. I still own the cruise ship. Haven’t had the heart to sell it, yet, since cruise season is coming. Your dad and I are figuring out if I should go for a few months or not. And I think I still have a small motorboat docked out somewhere near New York. I’m thinking of having it shipped here.” She grinned. “If I do, I’ll have to take you and Johnny out on some of the lakes. Sunrise on the water is to  _die_  for.”

Mavis, midway down the menu page, popped her head up. “For reals?”

“Sure!” Ericka flicked her hand. “Cruises are one thing. But small boat rides out? When it’s quiet and the sun is just coming up? Nothing more romantic.”

“Oh my god, that sounds perf-”

Their phones both buzzed. 

They looked down. 

 **Dracula:**  ERICKA I THINK I LOCKED MYSELF INSIDE MY COFFIN

Mavis slumped. “Didn’t you guys get a  _bed_?”

“Yeah. But he likes the coffin when he’s freaking out, and you know the quarterly review is due tomorrow and…” she tapered off, already texting. 

 **Ericka:** Honey, this is a group chat. What’s wrong?

 **Dracula:**  IM STUCK

 **Ericka:** Yeah. Honey. I got that. But  _how_

 **Dracula:** _I DON’T KNOW IT JUST HAPPENED_

 **Dracula:**  SOS

Ericka sighed. “Put a pin in this,” she apologized. Mavis flashed a thumbs up. “I’m going to go save your father from himself.”

“Good luck,” Mavis called after her, going back to the menus. 

A few minutes later her phone buzzed again. There was a private text, from Ericka. 

 **Ericka:** Your father accidentally slammed his coffin too hard. It got stuck. I’m trying to get him out. Can you call maintenence? 

**Mavis: Sure.**

Mavis put her phone down. And then she picked it back up, grinning.

 **Mavis:** Can you send a video, first? 

 **Ericka:**  …

 **Ericka:** [Ericka has sent a video]

Mavis accepted the link. 

* * *

It took quite a bit to get Vampire’s drunk. Their hearts didn’t technically beat, and their blood didn’t really run, and so most of the chemicals that needed to get to their brains could only get there after said Vampire were absolutely and totally  _pickled_. 

Somehow, Murray, Frank, and Griffin succeeded. 

The wedding of the Chupacabra had ended after 5 am, and though most of the guests had long gone back to their rooms, the boys had dragged Dracula along, claiming that a long overdue guys night was needed. 

“Go,” Ericka had told him, waving him off with a yawn. “I’m gonna get to bed anyway. My feet are killing me.” He’d dragged her into every dance there; the notion of watching slow dances from the side of the dance floor had been left behind, and he hadn’t stopped smiling since they’d finished swaying to the last Al Green song. 

He kissed her cheek. And then, looking behind him to make sure his Pack wasn’t watching, he leaned in and planted a kiss on her lips. 

The pack apparently  _was_  watching and hooted. 

“I’ll meet you upstairs?”

“Remember to shut off the lights.”

And they’d taken him away, with little calls of “thank you, Captain!” and “we’ll have him back in one piece!” 

That had been three hours ago. Before they’d begun plying one another with beers. And then shots. And finally, when the sun was beginning to burn dew off the leaves, with every type of mixer. 

The zombie bartender handed Dracula another cosmo, while Griffin sucked the vodka out of the chunks of pineapple on his skewer. 

“God…” Murray slurred, sucking back a Sex on the Beach. “Le’me tell you somethin’. Y’all are  _soooooo lucky_. With wiiiiives and relaaaaaationships-”

Wayne slumped down, grinning from ear to ear. He motioned for the bartender to refill his vodka tonic. “SOOOooo lucky,” he said. “SO SO lucky. I got kids. I got… got  _Wanda_. God, she-she’s per -hic-  _perfect_.”

“Mmmmm…” agreed Griffin, trying to stab his pineapple with the fancy umbrella. “Totally. Tot-a-lly. TOTES.”

Frank, half asleep on the countertop motioned weakly with his hand. 

Dracula poked at his cosmo sadly. He wasn’t drunk, was he? He could see straight (even if most of what he saw was doubles) and he still seemed to be able to use magic? He flickered his fingers experimentally. A shot of blue knocked over a chair somewhere behind him. 

Okay. So maybe not.

God? When was the last time he’d had this much to drink? He’d been stressed lately, with wedding planning and the hotels new wave of maintenance ever since the heavy Transylvanian summer showers had begun. His head gave a lovely  _thump thump_  and he rubbed his temple. It was  _stress_  that was causing the headache, he told himself. And not the six vodka tonics and seven cosmos he’d knocked back in the last two hours. 

Yeah. That made sense.  _Stress_. Just  _stress_. 

“‘M super luckyyy tooo” drawled Frank, head still on the counter. “Got… got a wife… She’s sooooo pretty.” He held his ears. “But  _loud_.”

Griffin burped. 

Dracula poked his drink again, suddenly feeling lonely in all the talk of wives and partners. “Ohhhhh” he groaned, plucking at the cherry at the end of his tiny umbrella. “I wishhhhh I was luckkkkky too. Haven’ -urp- haven’ had someone since… since  _Martha_  an-”

“Drac!” Griffin tried to put his hand on the counts shoulder but ended up slapping it instead. “Drac you  _DO_. Remeeeember? You have  _Eri-Ericka_.”

Dracula sat taller. “Oh yeah!” he exclaimed. He swayed in his seat. “ _Ericka_!” 

Frank popped up. “Ericka’s great!” he shouted before his head fell back down with a THUMP that made all the drinks jump in their glasses. 

Dracula nodded, ignoring the feeling of sea sickness in his gut. Was the hotel floating? He didn’t remember installing a lake? “ _She’s- she’s so so so so sooooooo great! She’s so pretty and nice and pretty and pretty-_ ”

“So nice!” agreed Wayne. 

Murray nodded. “And she could kill you!”

“Which’s suuuuuuper  _hot_ ,” said Griffin. 

“Totally hot,” mumbled Frank into the counter. 

“ _I shou-should text her_!”

“You  _totally should_.” Wayne pumped his fist. “Do it! Do it!”

“I’m  _gonna_!” That was a good idea! Texting meant you  _weren’t_ drunk, right? Or stressed? Or absolutely out of your mind? 

Dracula took out his phone. “What should I say?”

“Use those faces!” Griffin said, glasses slipping off. “Girls  _looove_  those faces.”

“And  _compliment_  her,” suggested Murray. “Say she’s  _beautiful_.”

“And could kill you,” mumbled Frank. 

“YES.” Dracula liked this idea. Dracula liked this idea a  _lot_. 

 **Dracula:** HEY HONEY SMILEY FACE

 **Dracula:** THE BOYS AND I ARE STILL HERE SMILEY FACE

 **Dracula:**  THEY REMINDED ME THAT YOU EXIST AND I WANTED TO SAY HOW MUCH I LOVE YOUR FACE SMILEY FACE

 **Dracula:** IT’S A GREAT FACE EVEN IF IT TRIED TO KILL ME THAT ONE TIME HEART

 **Ericka:** …

 **Ericka:**  …

 **Ericka:**  honey… why are you texting me.

 **Mavis:** what’s happening?

 **Dracula:**  BECAS I LOVE YOU

 **Dracula:**  OH HELLO MAVY WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

 **Ericka:**  This is a group chat, sweetheart.

 **Mavis:** Dad I was sleeping

 **Ericka:** We all were. it’s 7 in the morning. 

 **Dracula:**  YES BUT I LOVE YOU SMILEY FACE

 **Ericka:** Why do you keep saying smiley face

 **Dracula:** BECAUSE GIRLS LOVE WHEN MEN USE EMOTION CONS

 **Mavis:** You don’t spell them you use the picture

 **Dracula:** THERE ARE PICTURES? SMILEY FACE

 **Mavis:**  oh my god.

 **Ericka:**  …

 **Ericka:** text me again and i’ll actually kill you

 **Dracula:**  OKAY HONEY HEARTHEARTHEART

 **Dracula:**  … 

 **Dracula:**  ERICKA I STILL LOVE YOUR FACe

 **Dracula:**  YOU LOOK GREAT NAKED

 **Mavis:** Ericka, please kill him 

 **Mavis:**  I’ll give you the stakes myself

 **Ericka:**  I’m pretty sure I still have extras in my duffel but thank you sweetheart

 **Mavis:** No prob goodnight

 **Dracula:** THATS SUPER HOT

 **Ericka:** I’m locking you outside in the sun if you don’t stop 

Dracula held his phone close to his chest. “I just love her so much,” he choked. 

“Super hot,” said Griffin. 

Frank groaned into the counter. 

* * *

Dracula woke up with an earth-shattering headache. “Oh…” he mumbled. “Oh shit.” From next to him, Ericka looked up from her book. It was some adventure story, with an explosion on the cover. 

“Yeah,” she said. “That sounds about right.”

“What did I do last night?” he rolled over, facing her, wincing in the light of her bedside lamp. His voice sounded too loud against the stone walls. “Did I die?” 

“No. But I almost killed you.”

“Oh,” he said. 

“And you drank a lot,” she said, going back to her book. “I’m pretty sure it was a bunch of cosmos. That’s what you told me when you came back.”

“I walked back?” He squinted, trying to remember. Or maybe trying to block out the light. When did the room get so  _bright_?

“Mmmhm. Jumped into bed and woke me up to tell me that I was hot.” She turned the page. “And then you stole all the covers. You’re lucky I don’t keep stakes next to me.” 

He ignored the last part and rubbed his face. “I think I’m dead. I think I died, and now I’m dead.”

“Technically, you’re undead.”

“You know what I mean.” He pushed his hands against his eyes. “It’s been a long few weeks. Stress is doing me in.”

“This isn’t stressed,” Ericka said into her book. “You’re hungover..”

He groaned, hiding his eyes in his pillow. “Vampires,” he remarked painfully, “don’t get drunk.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not true. Because you were drunk.”

“Stressed,” he argued. 

“Stressed people don’t drunk text their entire families at 8 in the morning.”

He peeked out with one eye. “ _What_?”

“Yup.” Ericka said, popping the P. “You spelled out emoticons. and then told everyone I looked good naked.”

Dracula stared at her like she’d told him the earth was moments away from destruction.  “I didn’t.”

“You did,” she said, turning the page again. “But please. Blame it on stress.”

He hid his face in the pillow and groaned. 


End file.
